Finding Trust
Across the Ocean

Zariah wanted to see her favorite artist perform in London, and her friend backed out. So she decided to go alone.

Introducing Zariah

Picture This…

You find out one of your favorite artists, Cleo Sol, is headlining the 2025  All Points East  music festival in London. You’ve never been to London, but you do some research and talk to friends. It sounds like a fun, safe place to visit. The concert tickets are purchased. You’re about to buy your plane ticket when your friend tells you he can’t go anymore.

So you have a decision to make. You can cancel the trip, or you can say what Zariah said:

“I’m just not gonna NOT go now. I’m too deep in it.”

And head to London on your first solo trip.

Zariah grew up in Michigan as an only child, the center of her parents’ world. She describes her mom as loving, engaged, and protective. So when Zariah’s mom passed away in 2024, something shifted. The person she’d relied on her whole life to keep her safe was gone. She could have transferred that responsibility to someone else in her family, she has a strong relationship with her father, but she knew it was time to trust herself.

I spoke to Zariah over Zoom about that first trip to London. She talked with excitement and vibrancy about how much she values and cherishes everything she experienced and learned about herself on that journey.

A Trip Of Self Discovery

Tell me about the first solo trip that you took.

My first solo trip was London. It was honestly amazing. I would say at first I was really nervous, because I've never traveled anywhere solo. And I've never been to London, but I heard great things about it. You know, I talked to some friends. I did research, so I was like, okay, London will be a safe place to go. It originally started because I wanted to see Cleo Sol.

And I asked my friend to come with me, and he said yes, and then we were almost about to book our flights and get everything situated, and he's like, oh, actually, I can't go. And I was saving money, I was getting really excited, we bought our festival tickets, so I'm just not gonna not go now. I'm too deep in it.

So I went, and honestly, I think I learned so much about myself. I learned to trust myself more. I learned to listen to my intuition. There was one time where I got a little turned around, and I panicked a little. But I met some great people. It was a great experience. I can't wait to travel more by myself internationally.

What was it that made you say, I'm gonna do it anyway?

I would say… so when I get my mind set on something, you can't get me to stop.

But people were in my ear. “Are you sure you can't find anyone?” My aunt was even like, maybe I'll try to come, and I'm like, no. Then I decided I want to do this by l myself. I think this is good for me. I think this is good for my freedom, and I truly believe I will learn so much more about myself. 

And Tracee Ellis Ross, her solo travel documentary came out maybe just a little bit before my trip, so I was sold. I was like, yes, yes, it's meant to be, you know? 

You said it was good for my freedom. What does that mean?

So I'm the only child. And my mom was just always very nervous and wanted to make sure I'm okay, but my mom actually recently passed away. She passed away the day before Mother's Day last year. And since she passed away, there's no one telling me yes, and there's no one telling me no, but me. You know?

So I need to listen to Zariah's thoughts. Because something would happen, I would call my mom to get validation. My mom was the first one. Even if I didn't like what she was saying, I probably would listen to it. It was always just her. It was my voice, then it was her voice.

But now I finally just have my own voice. It's been liberating just listening to Zariah. Doing what Zariah wants.

And I'm so glad I did it. I finally said yes and listened to myself, and no one else.

Was traveling solo on your radar as something you wanted to do?

No! I mean, yes and no. So, it wasn't something immediately on my mind. I wasn't like, “Oh yes, I need to travel solo.” But it's something that I thought about. 

So, my mom's birthday is in October. Last October, I was very sad. And I was just sitting at home. This year I was like, maybe I should go somewhere. Somewhere I've never been, somewhere I believe I would like. I was thinking about Boston, but it wasn't completely on my radar.

I think… The first initial thought was Cleo Sol. And then, actually, no, I just really want to do this. I really want to experience it, and I just got excited because I was talking to other women who traveled solo. And they had such a great experience. I was even talking to my coworker. She was like, "You're doing what people say they will do, but never do."  Yeah, so let me not just say I'm gonna do it, let me do it.

This is your first trip to London. First trip by yourself ever. You check into your hotel, and then what did you do your first day?

So, of course, I didn't have a converter. So, I walked to the store to get that. I got a pistachio latte, because I was like, screw it. I'm here now, might as well enjoy it. And then I went up, I charged my phone, I got dressed, and I was staying in East London, near Shoreditch.

So, I literally… I walked the strip. I went to a bookstore. I went to the Vagina Museum. I went to some random restaurant. It just spoke to me. Because I had a list of things that I wanted to do. But it was very loose plans. The Vagina Museum was on there, a couple of other museums were on there, you know, the restaurant, then, of course, the festival, Brixton, those were things that I wanted to explore, and I did.

But I was also, like, I'm going to talk to locals, see what they suggest, and I'm just gonna see where my day carries me. And I saw this little restaurant, and it was kind of hidden in the corner, but it was really cool. And then there was a bar outside. So it was something I'd never seen before. I was talking to the owner, and he was showing me pictures of how it started, and it was just a rundown little shack. Oh, it's actually called the  Love Shack . That's what it's called. And they just created it to be such a beautiful space. The Vagina Museum was right there, so I went there. Then I walked to the vintage markets, so I was just exploring the whole day.

How did it feel to be a Black woman traveling by yourself in another country?

It felt amazing! It truly did. I was like, wow, so I'm independent. I'm capable, and I'm really doing this. I never thought that I would be in London by myself. I've always known that I wanted to go to London, but I thought maybe it would be with a friend, or you know, a partner, or whatever, with someone. But, it felt liberating, it felt exciting. Some nervousness there. Of course, but a lot of newness. A lot of beautiful uncomfortability.

I did feel comfortable that there are Black people in London, you know, and there are a lot of other people in London.

That's something I was very nervous about. But I felt okay, because I heard about  Brixton , and that's where most of the Africans and Caribbeans are. And I also talked to other people about how is it in London, how is it in Europe, you know, in general. And they were like because you are Black, you may unfortunately deal with some kind of microaggression or racism wherever you go, even in Africa, you know, because you're American, you know?

It definitely was something that I was nervous about at first, but then it was kind of just okay. But I did notice people staring at me a lot.

Did you feel self-conscious?

Not really self-conscious, but I was just curious. Why do they keep looking at me? When I would go to dinner, or when I would go get coffee, or when I would just be walking. Yeah, people would just be looking.

But I went to the Prosecco Caffe , and I talked to this girl, and she's from London. She's Pakistani. And she was telling me that the British just stare. Yeah, she was like, in America, it may be kind of rude to just stare at somebody, but the Brits just kind of stare, it's kind of normal, and if they think you're pretty, or you're interesting-looking, they're going to look at you. 

I'm used to people looking at me, but that's because I mean, I am literally poetry in motion.

With my outfits, with my bright colors, I've always been this way. I always have a fabric on or a color or some fur. Something that people would look at, you know?

And then hair, who knows, however the hair goes, you know, people love looking at hair. So I'm used to people looking at me, but not staring, you know? And then usually in my experience, Americans usually say things. They'll be like, “Oh, I love that jacket.” “Oh, I love that shirt, where'd you get it?”

That kinda happens a lot, and I'm fine with that. But yeah, the just looking and not saying anything was… was different. 

What did solo travel allow you to learn about yourself?

I would say, first, my intuition, because… Someone was just like, when my mom died, they said, "Do whatever you feel like you need." And I was just like, "What are you talking about? What do you mean? What do I feel like I need?" But then in London, I started to notice it. I would just… something would be like, oh, look into here. And then it was a gallery, you know? Or it was the Love Shack.

Or even it was just go back to the path where you came, when I got a little nervous. And then I go back to the path where I came, and it was a straight shot back to the hotel. It was just those little synchronicities that would happen just by me having that first instinct to do something.

And then my inner voice…  I feel like I would have an idea in my head about something, anything, and then I would go and ask someone about it. You know? Oh, I think I want to wear this top with these jeans. What do you think? Or should I put on some different jeans? And then somebody would say, oh, you should wear this skirt, but it's just like…dang, I kind of just wish I would've worn the… you know, so… and I just like being able to get up and explore without worrying about someone else.

I feel like if you put in your mind that you're gonna do this by yourself it's going to get done. But if you've put in your mind that you're gonna do this with someone else, it puts the ball and the power into someone else's hands. You know, so… I think it's good that I am taking my power back by just doing what I want to do.

Do you feel as though that has translated back into your regular life?

Oh, yes! I truly believe after London, I was a new person. I literally center myself, and not in an egotistical, I'm better than everyone, way. It's just what feels right to me is what I'm going to do. That's with work, that's with friendships, that's with life, even.

Something as small as… I just decorated my apartment. I've been thinking about it in my mind, how I want to make it look like me and feel like me. It's my home. And my friend was had so much to say about the apartment. He had something to say about my cabinets. Something to say about my artwork. And at one point, I think I would have been like, “Oh, so what do you think I should do? How should I do this?” But now I'm just like you don't have to come over here if you don't like the way it looks.

What would you say to that Black woman that's been talking about taking a solo trip, but just can't seem to make herself buy the ticket?

I would say, "Just do it." I mean, what do you have to lose? You have everything to gain.

I would say, start off as small as just doing things solo. I started off going to the movies by myself. That was about a year and a half ago. And then it grows. So if you do movies or dinner, then you maybe can take a solo trip by yourself. A staycation a couple miles up the road, but check in by yourself. Do things around the hotel by yourself, maybe walk to a restaurant near the hotel. I think it just builds that momentum and helps you become comfortable.

I'm telling you, without my mom, I don't believe I ever did anything by myself. She instilled a lot of fear in me, even though she was just trying to protect me. So, I was always very fearful. I always was a very anxious person. I always felt like I needed to be around people.  But now, I don't. I feel good by myself, and I don't know if it was insecurity, I don't know if it was loneliness.

But I realized just because I'm alone, I don't have to be lonely.