My First Solo Trip: From NYC Living to Winter Nights in London
It was November 2010. I had traveled every month that year — a crazy New Year’s resolution — but every trip had either been for work or with a friend or family member.
As someone who lived in NYC for six years and had a growing fascination with all things British, London had been on my list for a long time. My brother had even lived there for several years. But for some reason, I couldn’t make myself book the ticket.
Enough is enough.
Tamara, you’re going to London for Thanksgiving — alone. Let’s go!
Ticket purchased. Fear rising.
What will I do by myself, in a city on the other side of the ocean, for a week?
Will I be safe?
Will I be bored?
Will I get lost?
Will I look like an idiot like I did that time I had to fly through Frankfurt to go to Stockholm, waited too long to go through security, missed my connection, and didn’t have any way to reach my brother, and… BREATHE.
You can do this.
And I did.
It turned out to be one of the best trips ever — and not because anything spectacular happened. In fact, I was there during one of the coldest times in UK history. But it unlocked a secret compartment inside me that I didn’t even know was there.
With that in mind, I thought I’d share five of the most valuable things I learned about myself during that first solo trip.
1. Going solo doesn’t mean I’m alone
As someone who is fiercely independent, I always want to do everything myself — but sometimes it’s nice to have a community of support.
I was so grateful that my brother came down to London for a few days to welcome me and show me around. When he left, I still had time to explore on my own (and do more shopping). It was the perfect way to ease myself into traveling alone.
That’s part of why I started Alone Tgthr — a platform for Black women to travel solo without feeling alone. Check out our Instagram where Black women share their adventures traveling alone.
2. I like what I like
When you travel alone, you really get to know yourself. With no one else weighing in, you ask: How do I want to spend my time? Where do I feel comfortable going?
I don’t have to spend all day in a museum if I’d rather be shopping.
I don’t have to take taxis if I’d rather walk or hop on the Underground.
When I travel alone, I get to travel my way.
And if I can travel my way, maybe I can learn to live my life my way too.
3. Everything I need is inside me
I was born with everything I need to achieve my wildest dreams. And that’s not just true for me — it’s true for all of us.
So if I can do it, so can you.
If I’m strong, so are you.
If you’ve been waiting for a sign to plan that first solo trip (even if it’s just a day trip), here it is.
Need support? Remember you’ve got a whole community of Black women at Alone Tgthr cheering you on. Join our super secret (not so much) GroupMe. Just DM me through Instagram, and I’ll send you an invite.
4. I love my own company
Yo… I love being by myself. Actually, let me rephrase that — I love being with myself.
I’m funny, interesting, smart, quiet, complex.
Traveling alone gives me quality time with me.
I get to quiet all the noise (outside and inside) and just be.
Love it.
5. Feeling free is priceless
As Black women, we exist in a world that constantly seeks to subjugate us.
But during that trip to London — sitting at dinner alone, in a place where I didn’t know anyone, where no one expected anything of me — I took a deep breath and, in true Terry McMillan fashion, exhaled.
I felt free.
And on every solo trip I’ve taken since — and there have been many — I continue to grow in that practice of freedom. Holding onto more and more of it, even when the trip ends.
Look at her. Doesn’t she look happy?
